Journey Entry “BEING” | Ciera Chantál

Lately I’ve been finding it hard to express myself.

I am learning many different things about me and the relationships I have with other people in my life. I am not one thing, I do not fit into one box. I am a woman, that just can’t be defined.

The closer I get to thirty I realize that the only person that I ever truly have to make happy is myself. In the past, I’ve thought about how my actions would look, rather than just doing whatever I wanted. I’ve often heard the older you get the less you care about what other people think. I’ve always thought of myself has a very confident woman. Honestly, I’ve cared about others opinions  of me and I have thought about how the way I move may affect someone else. Now I’m learning and knowing that people are going to have an option no matter what I do or don’t.

One of my goals this year was to have peace in life. The only thing that I want to BE is free, free from labels, free from emotional bonds, free from the norm. I want to be one with the universe, align my charka’s and live. Now don’t get me wrong, I am human. I have an ego. I have emotions. I have attachment to things that I shouldn’t.  I still value things that may be considered superficial. I still want my hair and nails done and a sickening highlight on my face. Does these things constrict my freedom? Who knows, but if it makes me happy than I will continue to do the things I like.

My Mother does not understand the spiritual journey I am on. I have heard her call me a devil, because she truly doesn’t understand this journey. I have expressed feelings to her that I know that I have a deep connection to the spirit world. I don’t like the negative notion that comes along with words such as “VOODOO” OR “WITCH CRAFT.” Most things that are defined as bad or negative is not. You have to research and simply find clarity for yourself.  So when she see’s me with my crystals, oils, and mediation chants, she thinks I am crazy.

It is hard for me to totally remove myself from Christianity or the religion that I was taught. So when I say I am not a religious person, it’s true but some religious values that can be deemed as universal values are still apart of the person I am. I don’t want to be defined as a Christian or a Witch or anything.

I can’t be defined, I can only just BE. The person that I am evolves often. Those who are meant to get it and be apart of my life experience, will and those who do not were never meant to be apart of this magic.