CheMinstry | Second Chances

Cheministry Impeccable Imperfections

 

I recently had the opportunity to attend the ‘CheMinistry‘ platform. For those of you who are not familiar with ‘CheMinistry’ it is a series of intimate exchanges and compelling conversation. The topic was ‘Second Chances,’ hosted by Chanel Scott and Willie Wallace. The panelist included Vh1’s Shay Johnson, Bravo’s Mother Funders Robin Dyke, WeTV’s Andre Carter, Relationship expert D. Clark, and Entrepreneur BossMan Q.

 

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This was my first time at the CheMinistry event and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. The conversation was very real and I ended up walking away enlightened.

 

There are several meme’s floating around Black Twitter that suggest men should get several chances and women should not. The meme that I hate the most is the one that says “Females break up with their boyfriends for stupid sh-t like cheating. What you gon’ do get another man? He’s gon’ to cheat too. What would you rather do…give the same dude 20 chances or 20 dudes 1 chance?

Ladies do not believe this madness. You are worthy of having a man that will love you enough to be faithful. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to think about giving a man a second chance, really think about what you’re allowing back into your life. Second chances are commonly associated with fear and pain.

Only you can determine what is too much for you to bear. You know when enough is simply enough. No one can determine that for you.

Forgive if the person asking for another chance is truly remorseful.

Shay Johnson was very transparent admitting that she is still in love with a man that she should let go. She did not reveal a name but I assumed she was talking about Lil’ Scrappy. We saw a glimpse of that love story go wrong, a couple of seasons ago on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.

I do believe in giving a second chance IF you believe the person is really going to change. You have to pay attention to their actions to see how they act after they are forgiven. You cannot harbor any ill-will after you agree to give the second chance.

If one man has cheated on you again and again…20 times, that is someone who does not have any respect for you. That does not warrant a second chance. You can’t trust a person who does this and if you do not trust a person, how can you trust they will change to warrant another chance?

 

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At the end of the day hold individuals accountable for their actions. My mom always says if you don’t stand for something you will fall or anything. People give more thought to disciplining their children, expecting and demanding different results,  when we should take this same approach when we are extending a second chance. We give chances because we want a change, but no one really changes until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain needed to change.

 

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