Black Love – Identify The Problem

I’m excited that Oprah has decided to launch the Black Love series. Black Love highlights love stories from the black community and seek to answer the burning question, What is the secret to making a marriage work?

I’ve been thinking about ‘Love’ and exactly what it means. At my core I just want to find someone who loves me in the way I want to be loved. I had to look deep inside of who I am as a person to see why I always seem to date men that are just emotionally unavailable. Instead of blaming other people for this habit I have to look at the common denominator, me.

The way we create relationships and create partners is not based on what we want, but it’s based on what we learned as children, or through past experiences.  I have dealt with separation anxiety for a long time. I do not like to be left however there was a part of me who did not feel worthy of people’s full time or attention. After identifying the problem, you would think that it would be easy to just fix it, but now the questions becomes how do you fix it? I cannot solve the problem of attracting the right person until I remove my unconscious beliefs and feelings about love.

Most of my friends love live’s are not good. I do not have any happily married friends. My Mother asked me what does my ideal life look like and honestly it was hard for me to even imagine. I am a strong believer of Your Mentality is Your Reality, I have managed to manifest great things in my life. However, I do not seem to put the same effort and manifestations into my love life. It’s almost a blockage. I want to surround myself with people who are in loving relationships, so I can see something positive for a change. The law of attraction states Thoughts become things, If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.

We do not see many positive Black Love stories on TV. This is why I am so ecstatic that Oprah is coming out with this series. Will you be watching?


Love this proverb:

The only problem I ever have is the belief I am separate from God and therefore separate from Love.

Iyanla Vanzant